Posted on October 2, 2013
The line between the sea and the sky is
the end, and then the beginning of something
new. A promise
to Future’s wings which
fan the fire of juvenile desire
and go! Flee! Don’t turn back your eyes
must face forwards now and new things will be yours
to mould in your cupped hands like a smooth,
ripe mango. Many a journey lingers in your
laughter and foamy fingers cling to your stern,
but don’t look back on your wistful daydream
it stays there still on the shore and looks on,
upon the horizon.
Sure and sheer it cuts
a straight line clear as the deftness of your serious eyes
which gently tug the sky back to the earth
and yes, a neat line is a satisfying thing nestling
in the smudges of drab grey space which surround us.
Some things can be wonky and charming like
teeth, or fringes.
But not a horizon.
© images and content Emily Hughes and searchingtosee, 2013
Category: Uncategorized Tagged: 120 film, beach scenes, black and white, Childhood, creative writing, horizons, journeys, medium format, photography, poetry, Rolleiflex
Posted on September 16, 2013
find me unravelling the forest floor
find me hugging the crest of a sandy shore
find me wrapped in a gauze of Spring, when Autumn comes
that’s where you’ll find me
© images and content Emily Hughes and searchingtosee, 2013
Category: Uncategorized Tagged: Autumn, black and white, creative writing, daffodils, medium format, nature, photography, poetry, Rolleiflex, seashore, woods
Posted on September 7, 2013
And I will waste my heart on fear no more
I will find a secret bell and make it ring
And let the rest be washed up on the shore
They can’t be tamed, these wilder things
No they can’t be tamed, these wilder things
From “These Wilder Things” (album of the same name) by Ruth Moody
***
It was like these wilder things grew wilder
and more serious
sparkling in their electric world
relaxed in their sun-drenched skin
inhabiting that sweet groove
which skates between joy and recklessness
polished granite
a surface to flip, skim and fly
a tarnished penny
carelessly tossed aside
They felt safe to tumble freely in their imaginations
shrugging off the scrapes and the bruises
(I envied them that)
laughing and shrieking with abandon
they found solace conspiring in clandestine business
bowed heads sharing furtive words
A pavement is a stage for drama
dodging yawning caverns
molten lava traps
they rustle and pop around me noisily like static
enticing me to act in their superstitious fantasy
but I am already seated for the show
Like vines they grew
plasticine limbs stretching longer
bones denser
and their toes tiptoe cautiously
around the confines of our adult lives
sparrows snatching at stray breadcrumbs
but all words to them are pingy, elastic
just like them
so they play and stretch and tease
until their world becomes a little bigger
a little wider
a little taller
to accommodate them
But there were also dreams which were darker than before
and they found to their surprise that it was possible to hate, as well as love;
to feel shame as well as pride,
these wilder things
***
© images and content Emily Hughes and searchingtosee, 2013
Category: Uncategorized Tagged: Childhood, creative writing, family, home, photography, poetry, Ruth Moody, these wilder things
Posted on April 5, 2013
The Mummerehlen
There is an old nursery rhyme that tells of Muhme Rehlen. Because the word Muhme meant nothing to me, this creature became for me a spirit: the mumerehlen.
Early on, I learned to disguise myself in words, which were really clouds. The gift of perceiving similarities is, in fact, nothing but a weak remnant of the old compulsion to become similar and to behave mimetically. In me, this compulsion acted through words. Not those that made me similar to well-behaved children, but those that made me similar to dwelling places, furniture, clothes. I was distorted by similarity to all that surrounded me. Like a mollusk in its shell, I had my abode in the nineteenth century, which now lies hollow before me like an empty shell. I hold it to my ear. What do I hear? Not the noise of the field artillery or of dance music a la Offenbach, not even the stamping of horses on the cobblestones or fanfares announcing the changing of the guard. No, what I hear is the brief clatter of the anthracite as it falls from the coal scuttle into a cast-iron stove, the dull pop of the flame as it ignites in the gas mantle, and the clinking of the lampshade on its brass ring when a vehicle passes by on the street. And other sounds as well, like the jingling of the basket of keys, or the ringing of the two bells at the front and back steps. And, finally, there is a little nursery rhyme.
“Listen to my tale of the mummerehlen.” The line is distorted – yet it contains the whole distorted world of childhood. Muhme Rehlen, who used to have her place in the line, had already vanished when I heard it recited for the first time. The mummerehlen was even harder to rouse. For a long time, the diamond-shaped pattern that swam on my dish, in the steam of barley groats or tapioca, was for me its surrogate. I spooned my way slowly toward it. Whatever stories used to be told about it – or whatever someone may have only wished to tell me – I do not know. The mummerehlen itself confided nothing to me. It had, quite possibly, almost no voice. Its gaze spilled out from the irresolute flakes of the first snow. Had that gaze fallen on me a single time, I would have remained comforted my whole life long.
From A Berlin Childhood by Walter Benjamin
© images Emily Hughes and searchingtosee, 2013
Category: Uncategorized Tagged: Berlin Childhood, Childhood, collage, history, home, language, memory, Muhmmerehlen, photography, poetry, traces, Walter Benjamin
Posted on February 6, 2013
.
softly
she dreams
waters deep, curious
serpents nudge at her feet
sighing mermaids lounge on
rocks idle in their romance
disinterested they curl
graceful hands
teasing
droplets
into
watery
playthings
they cup her
sweet face, gently
caress cool
cheeks
.
further
she drifts
down the stream
carried along on a
unicorn’s dream
motherly
sirens
swarm,
curving
lithe frames
arch her slumber
murmuring ancient
secrets profound
in haunting
song
.
all
the while
they fashion
weeds into combs,
drawing wavy spurs
through lustrous
tendrils
and
she
sleeps on
soundly, gathering
hushed whispers
around her
a watery
bed
to
cradle
her floating
head as deft
minnows
dart
tracing
meandering
trails between
finger spaces
.
blue
turns to black
and a stray rainbow
imagined, maybe
(or just fancied)
surprisingly sleek
and springy flips
down its bow
to rock you
a shelter
to
your
dreams
.
the
vigilant moon
shifts its opal gaze,
silently quiets the
night and weeps
a solitary
waxy
tear
crush
blueberry
skies sigh a
weary breeze and
an obedient scatter of
stars shuffle into place,
dusting the air with an
invisible gauze
of dancing
light
.
it
shatters,
skims the smooth
stillness of your skin and
the stars strain to listen to the
pure, white lilting rhythm
as it searches and
settles to the
quiet ebb
and
flow
of
the
night
.
.
.
for
you
sleep
soundlessly
a careless cloak
of clouds tumbles
down, cautiously
surrounds you,
and, you
sleep
.
© images and content Emily Hughes and searchingtosee, 2013
Category: Uncategorized Tagged: Childhood, creative writing, nature, photography, poetry, Sleep, water
Posted on September 17, 2012
this summer she skipped and swam
clutched piles of acorns in her hands
her chubby limbs grew long and lean
hair tousled in the warm breeze
hidden treasures in secret places
dreams of ponies and princesses in faraway places
she fell in and out of love and
studied the morphing cloud-shapes up above
friendships were made then quickly forgotten
I dried her weary tears of frustration
this summer she let go of my hand
just for a little while….
Later I brushed the tangles out of her long brown hair, pulled it back.
She winced.
Too tight! She cried.
I smoothed the creases out of blue checked dresses
(blinking back the tears).
As she tugged white cotton socks up
over bruised shins.
Fastened up shiny black shoes and
fumbled with unfamiliar buttons,
she looked on, concern in her wide hazel eyes.
Don’t worry mummy, I’ll always be your little girl, she said
(I let the tears come).
This summer was hers for the taking,
but she hung back.
She wasn’t quite ready
(I was secretly glad).
Her time will come
For my beautiful girl
© images and content Emily Hughes and searchingtosee, 2012
Category: Uncategorized Tagged: black and white, Childhood, creative writing, girl, growing up, photography, poetry
Posted on July 13, 2012
Forget me not
A humble flower, but I love it when forget me nots emerge in summer. They have such an intense, pretty blue. Like little dots of joy piercing the dreary grey skies. They always catch my eye…
So small, so blue, in grassy places
My flowers raise
Their tiny faces.By streams my bigger sisters grow
And smile in gardens,
In a row.I’ve never seen a garden plot;
But though I’m small
Forget me not!
from The Complete Book of the Flower Fairies, by Cicely Mary Barker
Finally school has finished! I’m feeling weary and a bit subdued today though. We’ve had a lot of bad weather and rain. Every inch of me is craving rest and warmth. Still there are summer holidays to look forward to now, and I have a few projects planned which I will post more about later….
Happy weekend everyone!
© Emily Hughes and searchingtosee, 2012
Category: Uncategorized Tagged: bench, Cicely Mary Barker, Flower fairires, Flower Friday, forget me nots, garden, nature, poetry, weekend
Posted on June 30, 2012
They put the books behind bars
Locked them away
Metal branding paper
Sentences seared
Words scattered
Stories silenced
I press my nose right up close
Breathe in the dank musty scent
Watch pages curl and unfurl
Words swim before my eyes
Typeface tears roll down my cheeks
Stinging in the wind
I step back
My focus returns
But still I cannot read
Words have become meaningless
Infinite
Snapshots in time
I inhale deeply
Fill my gasping lungs with air
Watch the words expand, take form
I beckon them to follow me
Whispering their nameless names
To no-one
We’ll find a shrouded place
Shrug off our covers
Set our weary bodies free
Write our own rules
Dance in the hazy dawn
Sleep soundly under milk-infused moonlight
© Emily Hughes and searchingtosee, 2012
Category: Uncategorized Tagged: books, censorship, creative writing, freedom, photography, poetry, sepia, stories, words
Posted on June 27, 2012
A butterfly on a flower: an image of the perfect fragility of nature; of transformation, lightness and caprice.
There is such beauty and energy in the perfect symmetry of nature…
… but also in the flawed: the torn and the vulnerable; broken, yet beautiful and vital all the same – perfectly fragile in imperfection…
© Emily Hughes and searchingtosee, 2012
Category: Uncategorized Tagged: beauty, butterflies, environment, leaves, macro photography, nature, poetry
Posted on June 11, 2012
The man with the magnifying glass… is a fresh eye before a new object [….] it gives him back the enlarging gaze of a child. With this glass in his hand, he returns to the garden, where children see enlarged. […] The details of a thing can be the sign of a new world which, like all worlds, contains the attributes of greatness.
Miniature is one of the refuges of greatness.
Gaston Bachelard, The Poetics of Space
It is the task of the phenomenologist, and the photographer, to open our eyes. To shift our viewpoint. To make us look at the world from a different angle, and appreciate the small things. It seems, perhaps, that this is a task that has become more urgent in recent times. As the virtual possibilities of our world expand and distort, seemingly out of our control, there is a contrary need to find some kind of anchor or pivot point – to gain some perspective. And so we turn our gaze to what we know and to what is real; simultaneously precious and vulnerable, yet strong and vigorous.
Everything has its contrary point. If we find it we can see the world with greater clarity. To see the big picture, we have to look closer, find the detail. And maybe then the answer might have been there, much closer to home than we thought, in our own back garden.
The world carries on producing with overwhelming abundance every year, every season, every day, every minute. Maybe one day it will stop being so, but though the humble spider may seem to balance precariously on the petal of a flower, he finds sure footing there. He knows nothing of these concerns and will continue to strive to survive from one moment to the next. It is all he can do. It is all we can do.
To see the world in macro is to see up close, with a magnifying glass. Like a child playing detective the clues are there to be found if we look closely. Bachelard understood that in order to understand the big things, we must first develop the ‘enlarging gaze of a child’ and turn to the small things in which they find their origins. In miniature the world is the richer, more intense and alive. It is the nucleus, the centre of life.
Thus the beauty that nature’s bounty continually throws forth season after season, year after year can be found if we look in close. Herein lies the rich, ripe, brilliant, voluptuous, fullness of late Spring….
…. A fluffy downy feather in a child’s hand. Almost too light to hold.
A spider’s web sparkling in the moist air. Almost invisible.
A pendulous pair of ripening cherries glinting provocatively in the morning sunlight
Velvety-soft almond pods begging to be stroked
Tall camomiles standing proud and erect as their perfectly rounded golden pads strain towards the life-giving sun, petals dangling elegantly
And then there are the smells which carry on the gentle breeze: fragrant lavender, and most powerful the sweet honey-scented clover, whose heady scent fills your nostrils at every turn
As I wander the gentle murmur of busy buzzing insects contrasts with my lazy mood
The endlessly undulating folds of a full blooming peony
Oh and the poppies! So vibrant and joyful they punctuate the landscape with their translucent orange-red glow, their delicate, torn, paper-thin petals swaying gently in the breeze….
… Nature creates its own glorious poetry. If we look for it.
PS – I wish these had been taken in my own back garden, but they were actually taken near to the b&b we stayed in on holiday in Italy last week, where it seems the sun still shines occasionally unlike here!
© Emily Hughes and searchingtosee, 2012
Category: Uncategorized Tagged: enlarging, Gaston Bachelard, macro photography, nature, phenomenology, poetry
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